She always waved goodbye for as long as she could until I was completely out of sight. I can’t tell you when this started – it might have been that way long before I came along, or maybe it began with me.

My grandmother had just moved into a house across the country. I’m barely old enough to understand the distance between the homes we visited, but we were visiting my grandmother and grandfather for a few days. I ran around like a tornado, as most pre-school-aged kids do, leaving a mess in every room possible. Once they were done with me and the havoc I’d caused, my father said it was time for us to leave and we pulled away from their driveway and I could see her waving goodbye to us. I returned the wave with a smile.

We lived closer now. I don’t understand the circumstances, but we moved across the country and now we’re a shorter distance from my grandparents. We visited again, but I felt like we were staying there only because it was convenient to the ski resorts. As we leave for skiing in the morning, I see my grandmother standing in the driveway with a dress and without a coat on this blisteringly cold day, waving goodbye to us as we head up towards the slopes. We stay the next evening, and in the morning we leave to our new home just a short drive away, at least comparatively to last time. She waves goodbye, and in return, I wave and smile back.

My grandmother has moved into an apartment building. My grandfather isn’t there, but I don’t understand why. My father mentioned something about heart disease – whatever that means. My dad is helping her move furniture around and reorganize things, while I run around like a tornado undoing his hard work. She keeps breaking down in tears. Did I do something wrong? Is this my fault? When we’re done, we start to leave and I see her head hanging outside the front of the door as we walk down the outside porch where other doors are connected. She’s waving goodbye while holding a tissue. I wave back with a smile.

My cousin and I are visiting my grandmother today. She’s living in a different apartment building now with a hallway connecting everyone’s home. We’re playing a board game where we control fire engines that rescue people with her and she’ll take us to a movie afterward. She still breaks down crying once in a while telling us how much she misses him. I think she’s referring to my grandfather, but I don’t remember what he looks like. After the movie, we ran down the halls of the theater like we had jetpacks on our backs, just like the hero in the film. We continued to do so in her home until my parents came to pick me up. As I walk down the hallway, I turn around to see my grandmother waving at me. I smile and wave back.

My parents are having a night out for New Year’s Eve while I stay at home with my grandmother. We’re watching football and she’s complaining about how the players always yell, and it disgusts her. I keep trying to convince her that they’re just excited about the play they made, and they’re not angry. That was until they started fighting – “Now they’re angry,” I quipped. She’s switched the channel to PBS and we’re watching Sesame Street do a New Year’s Countdown. The Count starts counting with Elmo and I’m excited to watch the new year start. My grandmother says it’s bedtime and I argue, of course, but lose. Glancing at the clock I notice it’s only 10 PM – but by the time it hits me that midnight isn’t here yet, I’m already asleep. The next morning, my mom has come to pick and we leave her home. As we walk down the hallway, I turn around to see her waving at me as we walk into the elevator. I wave back with a smile.

I’m helping my grandmother move into a retirement home today with my dad. We’re loading up his car as much as we can and going to her new place. While she rearranges furniture in her new home, we return to the previous apartment and grab more things to bring to the new one. She’s complaining about her leg pain, but my dad just says it’s because she’s getting old. I try not to laugh. I spend some time with her as she makes her magical meals and we play the card game Uno, something we’ve come to love playing together. Every time we play, we end up laughing so hard because we don’t necessarily play by the rules. Instead, if you don’t have the color or card you need, you keep drawing until you do. This can lead to situations where you have 20 cards in your hand and a lot of laughter. As my father finishes moving furniture and rearranging things, we leave. As I enter the elevator, I turn to find her still standing in the doorway waving at us. I wave back with a smile.

We’re helping my grandmother move again today. She doesn’t like the retirement home she’s at so we’re moving her to another one. I’m able to drive now, so I load my car up with various furniture while my dad loads his. We help her unload everything and rearrange items. She was dependent on a walker now and struggles to walk without assistance. We take our time to arrange enough space between her major functions such as from the bed to the bathroom, and from every place to the entrance. She no longer has to cook as this home provides a cafeteria. I was unable to finish as I had to head off to work, so I start leaving. As I walk down the hallway I turn around to find her in the doorway waving goodbye to me as usual. I smile and wave back.

It’s Thanksgiving today and my father and I are visiting my grandmother. The food at the retirement home is surprisingly good. One lady who is serving the food recognizes me and looks happy to see me. It caught me by surprise as I always found her strikingly beautiful and never thought she noticed me before during school. I exchange a polite few words and sit with my grandmother. My dad caught notice of the interaction and asked if I knew her, but as a typical teenager I responded, “I guess.” He left it alone after that. After dinner, my father and I headed out. As we walk down the hallway and after about 20 feet I ask, “Is she still waving at us?” He turns his head around quickly and responds, “Yeah.” We keep walking and wave back at her.

My father has since moved out of state, but we were both visiting my grandmother that day. He has been helping with her bills and told me that she’s behind on some and he’s trying to get it all fixed. I’m spending time playing our favorite card game Uno with her. She said she woke up in the middle of the night and her feet were white and cold. My dad said she should add another blanket to see if that helps. After my dad helped finalize her bills, we headed out and walked down the hallway. As we near the elevator, my dad asks, “Is she still waving at us?” I turn around quickly and confirm that she is.

“Has she always been like this?” I ask.

“She was like this even when I was a kid,” my dad responded.

The next day, my father left to go back to his home. A few hours after he arrived, he called me and informed me that my grandmother had passed away last night. He was coming on the next flight into town to arrange her funeral service.

I should’ve said goodbye – we never know when our next goodbye is our last goodbye.